Help for your grief and preparation to grieve in community.

Community grief rituals are a way to come together to express grief. There’s so much power to shift what’s been stuck when we really feel our grief, without pretense or distraction. Sobbing, keening, raging… Not to wallow in it, but to experientially witness and complete the process, so it’s not frozen inside of our bodies, keeping us from shining our light.

  • Helpful for anyone who is about to attend a grief ritual, or who is considering doing so.

  • Created by Alison and Grisha of Stellar Village Grief Retreats in Oregon.

  • If you're looking for our Corvallis ritual on September 14, 2024, go here.

  • This free online course is included with our grief rituals, and can be taken separately for anyone interested in community grief rituals or attending with another grief tender.

  • The community grief ritual we do is rooted in the teachings of Sobonfu Somé and Malidoma Somé of the the Dagara people in Burkina Faso (whose elders and ancestors insisted they bring grief ritual to the West). We are inspired by grief tenders Laurence Cole, Francis Weller, Alexandra Blakely, and Fernanda Samambaia, among others. We also are big fans of parts work (IFS).

Course curriculum

  • 1

    Thanks for Being Here

    • The Purpose of This Online Class

    • Benefits of Grief Work and Obstacles to Doing It

    • History & influences on Community Grief Ritual (Dagara people & others)

    • Readings and Videos

    • Sample Grief Ritual Songs

    • The 6 Gates of Grief

    • Writing Prompts for the Gates

    • Helpful Ways to See This Precious Life - Grisha

    • Ways to Listen Mindfully - Grisha

    • Remember You Have a Body During Transitions and Other Grief - Grisha

    • The Relationship isn't Gone, It's Different - Grisha

    • Acceptance and Joy in the Midst of Loss - Grisha

    • You Don't Always Have to Be Positive! Be Authentic - Grisha

    • Keep Talking About It - Grisha

    • How Do You Help a Grieving Friend? - Grisha

    • Emotional Approach to Retirement Planning - Grisha

    • What's Next?

Instructor(s)

Licensed Social Worker, Grief Tender

Alison Roffman, LCSW

Alison Roffman (she/her) is a somatic therapist in private practice in Corvallis, Oregon. After gaining her masters in social work in 2019, she worked for Lumina Hospice for 2.5 years supporting patients and their families in grief- filled end of life transitions.

This opportunity increased Alison’s capacity to hold space and be with the hard and uncomfortable. Alison continued to train in somatic therapies, especially Internal Family Systems (IFS/parts work) and became EMDR certified. After reading Francis Weller's book "The Wild Edge of Sorrow," Alison attended her first grief ritual early 2022 and she left feeling inspired to learn this powerful gift in order to be able to offer it to her local communities. Alison began attending numerous grief rituals and weekend immersions and completed a 6 months grief facilitator training with Francis Weller. Alison has her own personal journey with grief and finds it healing to gather together to grieve instead of grieving alone.

Dog Trainer, Author, Singer-Songwriter

Grisha Stewart MA, CPDT-KA, KPACTP

I'm a collaborative dog trainer, author, international presenter, singer-songwriter, and keynote speaker of European ancestry (best guess based on DNA and some genealogy is Scotland, "England & Northwestern Europe," Wales, "Germanic Europe," Ireland, and Norway). I've been helping people and dogs professionally since 2003. My passion projects are grief tending, community singing, and woodturning.

I'm fascinated by animal behavior (including humans), somatic awareness, spirituality, psychology. My work is directed at wholehearted living for all beings, including dogs with a history of aggression, frustration, or fear as well as puppies and my other favorite species: humans.

My Behavior Adjustment Training (BAT 2.0 book and BAT 3.0) is used worldwide to help dogs gain confidence and social skills. Well over 200,000 people have learned about BAT so far.

Diane Redding and I co-host a podcast called The Lesson is Love.

As an outgoing introvert, I refresh my batteries by singing, expressing grief in community, and savoring life with my husband (Tom), Labrador (Joey), cat (Garbanzo aka "Adventure Kitty" and "Baby Panther"), and Little Brown Dog (Zuki). I identify as a queer (pansexual), neurodiverse, middle age, white, raised in poverty and now of middle class, and US citizen, spiritual non-Christian leaning toward neo-Druid (but raised in Christian culture). My pronouns are she/her. I am still wrestling with living on the stolen river watershed of the Siuslaw people, who are part of the CTCLUSI.

Note: this registration page lives on Grisha's online dog training school, so there is terminology about 'courses' and other things that may not make sense. You may also get emails about dog training after registering if Grisha can't figure out how to keep that from happening. You can always opt out at the bottom of those emails.